I recently had a visit from my Step-mom Debbie to my new house. She was in town for business so I was excited to show her my place, although it was a little awkward because its my moms house too. Seeing how my mom is so gracious she agreed to skip out of the house for a couple of hours so I could host a small get together for my step-family. It was my Step-mom Debbie, her mom, and sister and my step-sister Val and my lovely niece Ella and nephew Christian. Since I haven't really announced it, Christian is Valerie's new precious baby boy, he is a month old and cuter than ever. Heather, Shaun and Josephine were also there. It was fun however a lot of opinions about what color for the walls and what we should do with the floor either hardwood or carpet.
I had a nice time with the family but realized that my opinions about religion and prayer are not really welcome!! I told the family I was writing President Obama a letter about the National Day of Prayer and my Step-Aunt Barbara was shocked to hear me say it was okay if Obama prayed with Muslims. It was kind of funny, but I didn't really want to get into it so I just kept saying "I'm really open-minded, I'm really open-minded."
On a more personal note:I have to say that I'm so glad my dad found Debbie to be a part of his life, but getting the step-family (all of them) to realize that there were some past hurts and things I still think of is almost impossible. Some how or another we got on the topic of my dad and Debbie's wedding. Although they were engaged in November, they did not plan to have the wedding until June of the next year. However when they were in Las Vegas with her family they were peer pressured into getting married because "they were living in sin." I made a comment about missing their wedding and Barbara (Debbie's sister) had the nerve to say "oh well you know why they did it right?" Yes Barbara I know why they did it: They did it because you and your wacko other sister peer pressured them into getting married, you two were only thinking of yourselves and your sister, nevermind the 4 kids they didn't call at home. Nevermind the family in Oceanside you called to come to Las Vegas (who by the way could have picked up the 4 kids). Needless to say I was very hurt by this and although don't remember it often was blown away that Barbara would try to explain it away. This time all I could say was "we still should have been there," Barbara would say something else and I would reply "we still should have been there." I mean how hard is it for people to realize that your kids would want to be involved in something like your wedding?!!
Okay enough of me complaining about the step family. I guess all I really want is for them to understand my frustrations and be okay with it. In that family I'm not allowed to have my own opinion or stand up for myself. It's been 10 years since they got married and it's becoming harder and harder to not share my thoughts and beliefs with them. I mean they have been apart of my life for a long time, but not one of them really knows who I am or will allow me to be who I am. Divorce sucks!!
Beckie
xoxo
2 comments:
I'm so sorry! That is not cool at all. I am glad you are such a strong, independent person and try to make them hear your feelings and opinions. You can't make them understand or agree, but hopefully they will at least respect them.
Watch out now I’m going to throw another opinion out at ya… for someone to “understand” your frustrations means they have must come to terms with the fact that they could have possibly done something inconsiderate and by saying they understand are admitting guilt so they appear to just avoid it. Your opinion ALWAYS matters so regardless of the response I hope you will continue to express it. Good for you inviting them into your home and sharing your life’s accomplishments in the first place.
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